Flirt With Your Husband Friday: We NEED to Flirt.

First, let me confess -- it isn't just that I haven't been blogging about Flirt With Your Husband Fridays.  I haven't been doing that much flirting lately.  Or, to be more specific, we haven't been "dating" lately.  Everything is still good with us.  But we've gotten caught up in the other roles of our lives.
We've been busy being grandparents, friends, sons and daughters, ministers and more.  We've been busy.  Period.  We've been stretched out thin.  And that's the time that flirting with your husband is more important than ever.  Its also the time that is the easiest to neglect flirting with your husband.  Trust me, I know this.
So, I'm getting serious again.  I NEED to flirt with my husband.  Because being lovers is what we do best. And being totally head-over-heels in love with each other is what feeds all of the other stuff that we do and all of the other roles that we fill.
In our society, people in love date.  Yep.  That's what they do.  It isn't always grand or flashy.  But they date.  They spend time together just being together without being in any of their other roles.
I'm reminded of that song from Fiddler on the Roof --- Tevia and Golde sing "Do you love me?".  Golde keeps referring back to their other roles rather than answering Tevia's question --- "do you love me?"  That might have been okay for them --- in that time and that society.  But today, we do it differently.  I don't ever want to be giving the kind of answers that Golde gives.

I LOVE my husband.  I adore him -- yes, even when he drives me bananas -- I deep down really, really LOVE him.  And I need to spend time with him, just being his lover.  So, I'm going to flirt wildly with my husband.

Not a Diet --- But.....

I’m really not looking for another diet.  But anytime that life offers a helping hand in eating appropriately, I’m all for it.  So I really admired these plates from Slimware (www.slimware.com)  They are way out of the price range that I’d ever consider paying ---- $36 for just 4 dinner plates --- but the concept intrigues me and I’m thinking. 

The swirly design is set up so that you put your meat/protein on the smallest of the comma-looking thingees, your starch on the medium sized swirly, and veggies on the largest swirl.  Voila, an instant beautiful plate with a properly proportioned meal. 

Benefits??  Well, for starters, it puts your meal into balance --- mostly vegetables, a little protein, some carbs.  It also seems to automatically undo some of the super-sizing of portions that has occurred in the American mindset.  As much as we try to avoid it, the restaurant mentality of full, huge plates plagues our household at times.  We suddenly find that we’re overloading our plates, super-sizing our portions and wondering why we’re gaining weight.  This pretty plate seems to do a better job of managing portions than the usual eyeballing tricks or the tedious measuring and weighing all of the time. 

The down side??  Well, the $36.00 is a big down side in my world.  And the black and white color scheme is not great either.  I have white dinnerware that I love, but black and white just doesn’t make it in my kitchen world.   And the fact that they only come in sets of four isn’t rocking my world either. 

Creativity time.  Could I create a plate like this on a paper plate or even a charger and then set a clear, glass plate on top?  That would let me control for color and style without struggling over food-safe inks and dyes.  Could I stain the back side of the glass plate ?  Would it withstand the dishwasher? (I’m not volunteering to hand wash the silly plate) Could I disguise the pattern as paisley or as something other than the modern looking comma thingees??

I think I’m going to give it a try --- maybe I’ll use the old deck of cards, baseball, and other tried and true visuals to work out some kind of a pattern --- something geometric, maybe. 

I’ll let you know if it works out.

Project 333: New Year's Resolution??

Have you caught wind of Project 333 yet??? I read about it in the newspaper a while back.  I noted it, but it didn’t really pique my interest all that much.  I’m re-thinking it now --- as I’m making New Year’s Resolutions. 

Project 333 is the brainchild of Courtney Carver at www.bemorewithless.com 

While that sounds like my kind of a blog ---- this gal might have pushed me a little too far with Project 333. 

You commit to choosing 33 items as your entire wardrobe for 3 months.  I was okay with the concept ----- until I grasped that shoes, accessories, jewelry  --- everything all count in the 33 items.  (I presume that a pair of shoes only counts as ONE??)  Suddenly, that number was a little draconian and very scary. 

Courtney and her followers swear that its very doable --- that they haven’t even worn all 33 of their chosen items.  Wow. 

I’m trying to think it all through.  If everything counts – then I need to factor in the underwear issue. Which means I need to factor in the laundry issue – because if I’m cutting way back on underwear (cuz I am NOT even considering cutting my viewable wardrobe back enough to maintain my current underwear and laundry practices) – I’m going to be doing laundry A LOT more often.   Even if I take a free pass on the underwear, I’m not sure 33 items of clothing, shoes and accessories is going to make it in my life. 

So --- after you’ve gone and checked out Project 333 --- let me know ---- Is it something you’d consider for a New Year’s Resolution??? 

Flirt With Your Husband Friday: New Year's Eve

What are you doing New Year's Eve?  I love that old song

Since I firmly believe in flirting with my husband (great New Year's resolution eh??) we're going out dancing tonight.  He'll put on a tux.  I'll put on a slinky evening gown, some fancy jewelry and some drop-dead, stop-you-in-your-tracks perfume.
Our dance group rents out a country club.  We have dinner (most of mine will end up as left-overs for lunches this week -- there's always way too much food).  We'll have a glass of champagne at midnight.  And we'll dance until our feet fall off (or until 12:30 when the country club staff will close us down).
Fun.  Elegant.  Very flirty.  See you next year.

Flirt with Your Husband Friday: Christmas Eve

This is my favorite date of the entire year.  (I say that a lot).  Try this --- it is the most fun you will ever have with $10.  This is a lunchtime date --- the mall should close by about 6:00 on Christmas Eve --- plus – we end this one by going to the Christmas Eve Service at our church --- perfect ending.

Take $10 and get it all in $1 bills.  Go to the mall.  Pick the mall that is on the not-so-great side of town. 

Now the mall will be all lit up with Christmas lights, the holiday music will be blaring, and the fake Santa in the main court will be ho-ho-ho-ing away.  And the folks in the mall will be frantic.  These are people who are under stress.  They are either trying desperately to get it all done before the stores close or they are trying to eke out every last penny they can manage before Christmas.  The store staff are not having such a great time either.  They would much rather be making the holiday for their own families rather than dealing with the cranky and crazed last-minute shoppers. 

Watch for all of these folks.  Watch especially for little kindnesses that you can do for about $1.00. 

We’ve bought a cup of coffee for a harried worker, paid the tax for a child shopping for something for mom, and made up the little bit of difference for a desperate mom who was struggling to decide what she would put back on the shelf.  We’ve left an extra tip for a waitress who was fantastic to a pair of wild toddlers and their weary parents.  We’ve even bought a bottle of cold water for a hoarse and exhausted Santa who was still smiling for the camera. 

You’ll be amazed at how much Christmas cheer can be managed for just one dollar.  And I guarantee you’ll be equally amazed at how the spirit of the Season settles in your heart as you slowly spend the whole $10 (its harder than you think --- and it takes longer than you think).  And when you go to church later on and start to sing “Joy to the World, the Lord has come”, don’t say I didn’t warn you if you find tears springing to your eyes and a renewed sense of joy and hope leaping in your heart.  

Christmas: Staying Sane

It's Here: Christmas Week has Come!

Its here, its really here.  (I can’t decide if the intonation on that should be child-like excitement or moaning dread)  Ready or not, Christmas week is here.  The final preparations are ready to be made. 

Here’s what I have left to do:

Write out the menus for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day so that everyone knows what’s going on and no one eats something I NEED.

Clean the house --- one final serious cleaning so that everything shines.

Set up the extra table as a server in the dining room.

Bake the pies

Set out the canned goods and dry goods for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day dinner. 

Set the table and label all the serving dishes

Defrost the frozen treats

Actually cook

Flirt With Your Husband Friday: Decorating the Christmas Tree

We flirted around decorating the tree this year.  We have collected ornaments from all of our travels.  Our tree includes, a German cuckoo clock ornament, carved wooden nativity scenes from Spain, a pair of traditional dolls from the Czech Republic, a kilted Scottish Santa, and cloisonné ornaments from Hong Kong.  Of course, there is the ornament from the Peninsula Hotel where we went for afternoon tea and made a donation to charity and received a gold Peninsula Hotel ornament to sign and hang on THEIR tree.  (we carefully wrapped it in a napkin and took it home for OUR tree).  We have the gaudy pink flamingo from our friends Jon and Em’s wedding in Sanibel.  And our latest addition to the collection, the set of bookmarks we bought on the street in Seoul last Christmas when we visited there. 

We made hot chai, pulled out a few cookies, and some crackers and cheese and took a long leisurely stroll down memory lane.  We laughed and talked and remembered all of the very, very good times that these ornaments represent.  We chuckled over the handmade ornaments given to us by beloved young hands.  We compared the photos of our dogs, same breed, such different dogs, that grace two dog ornaments on our tree.  We marveled at the melding of two family traditions, ornaments from each of our families that now live gracefully, side by side on our tree. 

In short, we connected.  And isn’t that what flirting with your husband is all about?

Wrapping Party

I told you last week that I host a wrapping party.  This is one of the most fun events of the season for me.  Here’s how it works: 

Invite a couple of girlfriends to join you for this.  Not too many people.  I’ve found that 3-5 is a perfect number.  More than that , and it gets a little crazy. 

Everyone brings:

All of the holiday gifts they need to wrap

Rolls of wrapping paper --- how many is determined by the size of the family they represent --- be fair. 

A couple of rolls of tape (you’d be amazed how fast you go through tape)

Ribbons, bows and other embellishments (make sure at least one friend is someone sort of crafty – they’ll be able to make magic with some ribbon, a doily, and a cheesy dollar store ornament --- believe me, I know)

That’s it ---- then you all spend the evening  helping each other wrap gorgeous presents, chatting and enjoying the company, and oohing and aahing over the gifts you’re giving to your loved ones.  It makes the chore of wrapping all of those gifts into a fun girls-night-out. 

Since each gal is only bringing a few rolls of wrapping paper, you can afford to spring for beautiful, gorgeous, lavish paper.  We usually find that some drop-dead ribbons and embellishments arrive as well.  The craftier among us usually trade embellishing for basic wrapping duties --- in other words --- “I’ll wrap your gifts if you’ll decorate mine”.  Everyone ends up with fantastic looking Christmas gifts (even your husband will believe in elves again) and has fun in the process. 

As the hostess, I provide some basic refreshments --- a tray of cookies from the Cookie Exchange, some cocoa, some wine (every girl’s night out deserves some wine) and a small tray of cheese, crackers and fruit. 

I put on the Christmas music and rock the house.  Three hours later, the house is a disaster of ribbon scraps, sticky paper pieces, and abandoned projects.  But the pile of wrapped gifts is a sight to behold.  We’re all happy, in the holiday spirit, and able to move on and focus on making the rest of the holiday a joy.  What could be better than that???

Christmas: Wrapping Party

I got a couple of questions about what I do with the mountain of cookies that I take home from the cookie exchange. 

Three things:

• 1.     I host a wrapping party for a couple of girlfriends.  I’ll give you all of the details on that one next week.  But for now --- the refreshments are taken care of --- we’re having cookies, of course.
• 2.     I bag up little bags of assorted cookies and tie them off with some ribbon, a jingle bell, an a package of Land O Lakes hot cocoa mix (only because it comes in pretty colored foil packages that look beautiful)  Now I have a little gift to hand to someone who does me a kindness during the holiday season.  The mailman usually ends up with one, the UPS delivery guy, sometimes my neighbor who has rescued my blowing packages and receipts more than once – anyone at all.  They’re right there, beautiful and ready to go. 
• 3.     We host an Open House after Christmas.  This is an easy gathering to host, and everyone enjoys the relaxed atmosphere after the rush of the holidays is over.  The bulk of the cookies from the cookie exchange go into the freezer for a couple of weeks until we’re ready for the Open House.  Then a platter full of cookies and great steaming mugs of hot cocoa make for a casual, fun and yummy dessert “buffet”.  

Flirt with Your Husband Friday: Build Gingerbread Houses

Build a Gingerbread house together --- yeah, just the two of you --- without the kids.  Or build a whole village out of graham crackers.

Are You Ready??

Are you getting ready??? I mean that both ways --- You can’t appreciate the wonder of Christmas if you don’t get ready in the physical reality.  At this time of the year, I always think about the story of Mary and Martha in the Bible.  Mary sat at Jesus feet and just drank it in.  Martha bustled around the house, preparing the meal, seeing to the needs of the guests, serving --- all the Martha stuff.  Finally, Martha had a meltdown.  She demanded that Jesus tell Mary to get herself in the kitchen and help.  Jesus didn’t.  He told Martha that Mary had made the better choice. 

What did he mean by that??? Did he mean to forget about hospitality and tradition and eating and being together??  I hardly think so.  But most of what was making Martha crazy could have been done ahead of time --- and then Martha could have relaxed and enjoyed Jesus and the rest of the company too.  Mary decided that good-enough was good enough.  She sat down, had a glass of wine with the Master and enjoyed the party.  Martha ran around like a chicken with her head cut off and then got all caught up in resentment. 

I really believe in the gift of Martha --- the talent and skill for hosting and making people feel welcome and wonderful --- without the grudging resentment that messed it all up.  I’m working on cutting back on some of my ideas about perfection and tradition for Christmas, but I’m not there yet.  So I’m working on getting ready.  I’m working on planning ahead and doing things ahead so I can sit back with a glass of wine and enjoy the party. 

Here’s what I’m tackling this week to be ready:

Baking and freezing some really yummy treats --- they’ll pull out of the freezer in a flash when I need them. 

Washing all of the Christmas dishes – just a run through the dishwasher when I don’t need them --- it will take the pressure off later. 

Plan the menu --- this is it.  I’m out of time to shop around for bargains for our celebration.  I need to take stock and start a serious plan. 

Make a playlist on the Ipod – I want Christmas music playing for our celebration, but I’m going to scream if Alvin and the Chipmunks starts playing ---- so I’ll make my own playlist and control that right up front. 

Christmas: Cookie Exchange

Yeah, we’re having a cookie swap where I work.  And Yeah, I’m definitely participating (you’re surprised??? Have we met??)  This is a simple cookie swap.  Everyone bakes 6 dozen cookies of their choice.  You sign up and put what kind of cookie you’re making.  If you want to do something “normal” like Toll House or Peanut Butter, you’d better be one of the first souls to sign up. 

On the designated day, everyone comes together with trays and platters of cookies.  A quick walk around the table (it feels a little like musical chairs, except the Christmas music never stops)  and everyone has a new platter with a wonderful assortment of holiday cookies to take home with them. 

My friend Louise is the organizer of this event (God bless Louise) but if you’re thinking about having a cookie swap, you can find some great printable organizers here. 
    

Don’t forget to grab some of the cookie tray cellophane covers at the Dollar Store – this is the only time of the year that they’re easy to find.  Stock up now – it will make getting that platter of cookies to and from the cookie exchange much easier.  

Flirt With Your Husband Friday: Christmas Lights

You won’t believe what I’m going to suggest now.  This is one of my favorite cheap dates in December.  Pack up a thermos of hot chocolate and some of the leftover holiday cookies and go drive around looking at the wild and crazy displays of holiday decorations that some people display. 

In our area, one of the parks does a huge a drive-through display of lights and scenes.  You pay $5.00 a carload (don’t load the car, just the two of you, please) and drive through the park while the lights blink and flash and cheesy Christmas music plays over tinny loudspeakers. 

But we also like to just take a ride and look at the lights.  We enjoy the simple, tasteful displays as much as the showy, blinky ones.  One house that we adore always does simple candles in the windows, wide red swaths at the door and a plain evergreen wreath on the front door.  It is some simple that it’s breathtaking. 

There are also a couple of houses with blinding displays of moveable figures, flashing colored lights and whtever else they can manage to put on the expanse of lawn.  Sometimes we think we should make a contribution to the electric bill (can you imagine??) 

This year, the internet is making this date a whole lot easier.  Just go to  www.tackylighttour.com  to find pictures, and a search function.  You can find homes with crazy light displays in your town and make your own tour.  Take the camera and you can upload photos of what you find to the site as well.  Just be aware --- this site has an eyeblinding 10,000 bulb minimum to be included. And if you find your home on the site --- well --- would you like a donation to the electric bill??

Starting the Pilgrimage of Advent

Today started Advent.  Recently, I had the privilege of listening to my friend Janet give the sermon for the morning.  She said some deep things about getting ready for Advent --- she said I could share: 

A few weeks ago the certain signs began to appear that the Holiday season is fast approaching. Advertisements for old games with a new twist like monopoly on DVD began appearing. But last week the signs were really clear and now there is no denying that the folks in commercial land want us to immediately jump into the holiday spirit of Christmas shopping with no reservations. But, wait a minute, I’m not there yet, I’m not even sure if I’m ready for Thanksgiving. Frankly, I’m not sure where I am at all. In just 2 weeks we celebrate the first Sunday in Advent. When I was a child Christmas couldn’t come soon enough. My heart and mind were ready and open to jump right in but as an adult I have accumulated burdens, I have reservations. I need more preparation. I need solitude and quiet, time to contemplate and prepare myself as if for a pilgrimage towards Christmas morning.

I love the idea of going on a pilgrimage like people did in the middle ages. It is a journey to prepare oneself to receive a gift of the sacred. Just think of what it must have been like living on a farm and dreaming about journeying to a Cathedral like Chartre in France. Imagine the excitement and anticipation as well as the fear of the unknown. On a pilgrimage every step is sacred and a step towards drawing closer to God. Some even make pilgrimages on their hands and knees. There is an expectation on a pilgrimage that you will encounter danger but also epiphanies and renewed hope. The gain far outweighs the danger. A pilgrimage is as much about the journey as it is the destination.

A pilgrimage is about change, growth, discovery, movement, transformation, continuously expanding our vision of what is possible, stretching our soul, learning to see deeply, listening with our intuition, and taking courageous steps.

Told you ---- so --- are you ready for a pilgrimage this Advent?? I can’t wait to see what we’ll discover, how I’ll change and grow.  

Give Thanks

Give thanks.  What a simple directive.  What a difficult accomplishment. 

How fitting that we set aside one day to work on nothing except giving thanks (well, aside from the working of the cooking and the frantic battle-planning for the Black Friday assault)

I thought that this year, I would just bullet a handful of things I’m incredibly thankful for:

A husband who loves me and puts up with me and sometimes even embraces my quirkiness (I’m sticking by calling it “quirkiness, thank you very much)

A beloved friend who would strangle me if I named him here, who has demonstrated more character and courage in recent months than any seven people I know and who has been accused repeatedly of lacking both. 

The presence of young children in our lives who see clearly through all of the nonsense that tangles up the adults and deal with people directly and authentically

A job that not only pays the bills, it makes me glad to go to work

A safe, happy, warm home that welcomes me and provides respite for my soul

Friends and colleagues who are not afraid to tell me when I’m going off the deep end and are not afraid to join me there occasionally

Edy’s Apple Pie Ice Cream (preferably with a drizzle of caramel sauce, but plain is fine)

A dog who has learned to trust (finally) and who has taught us more about trust than we ever dreamed possible

Fine, faithful friends who try their very best to “get it right” in the face of impossible obstacles and who love and appreciate us for simply standing with them

Yep --- give thanks ---- its good for the soul.

Flirt With Your Husband Friday: Go Dancing

Go Dancing!  Its old-fashioned, romantic and usually quite a cheap date. 

We started taking ballroom dancing lessons a number of years ago.  Its become something we love to do.  As my beloved often puts it: “a few hours with the woman I love in my arms…. What could be wrong with that??” 

Even if you don’t have a few years of lessons under your belt, go dancing.  Find a romantic venue – not just some bar or club, please.  Dress up a little bit.  One of the beautiful things about most of the dances we attend is that the women dress to the nines, while the men are generally dressed in more of a classy casual style.  We ladies get to indulge out love of ruffles, glittery things, and swirly dresses.  The guys get to be comfortable – lots of monochromatic shirt/pants looks --- and no one wears a tie!  Eveyone is happy. 

One of the new places to dance that we’re enjoying is the Morgan Mansion, Ventfort Hall.  This is an amazing restored Gilded Age Mansion.  Right now, they’re trying out hosting dancing on Saturday nights, once a month.  

If you click through and look through the photos, you’ll get an idea of why this zings my romance strings.  It’s a beautiful venue and a lovely evening of dancing and just enjoying each other.  Its an extravagant date without the extravagant price tag.  Dancing at Ventfort Hall – use photos from their website

Flirt With Your Husband Friday: Send a Telegram

Send a telegram including the old-fashioned STOP instead of periods to anyone for $5.65.  At this nostalgic site, you type in your message, preview your telegram, and click SEND.  Within 4-8 business days, your receipient will receive his surprise.  Alas, it is delivered by regular mail truck, not pony express or a running messenger. Go here to try it out: www.telegramstop.com

First Snow!

It snowed this week for the first time this year.  It wasn’t that light fluffy snow that clings to the branches and makes everything look magical.  This was that grainy, icy snow that freezes everything and erases all hope of salvaging anything in the garden.  But it was pretty nonetheless. 

The Wedding

We had a wedding this weekend.  It was truly lovely.  I’ll let it speak for itself.